Judgements

As I am thinking about my life and all of the pieces that make up my life, I know that I am so blessed. I have been thinking about one of my best friends from middle school. We kept in touch off and on since 8th grade. I have always thought she had everything. She was beautiful, SKINNY :), smart, fun, funny, talented... you get the idea. When we got older, I thought she had the perfect life - husband, beautiful children, nice house.... again, you get the idea. But not too long ago, I learned of her personal trials. I cried for her. Cried because I felt guilty for being judgemental. I thought her life was perfect, she was perfect. I quickly learned that not only was her life not perfect, but in this moment, it is harder than I could have ever imagined for her. And yet, she still inspires me. She has a deep love for the Lord and faith that far outreaches mine sometimes.

We each have trials and struggles in life. And yet we all judge. We judge when we shouldn't because we rarely know the entire truth or story. We judge based on different reasons... Looks (be it beauty or not), talent, wealth (or lack of) - education, calling at church, job status, popularity, whatever... But what gives us the right? The problem is we don't have one.


I have been thinking about my personal goals for the year. Among the usual is a goal to judge less and love more. I remember this same friend telling me once, while we were sitting in the mall commenting on people, that if we make fun of someone, that something we made fun of will happen to us. I quickly started making fun of skinny people. Unfortunately I wasn't "punished" with that "misfortune". But as I think about the areas in my life that need improvement, judgement is at the top of the list. I have often sat with friends or even alone, and made judgements about people, even strangers walking by. Wondering why they wore what they wore, why they didn't comb their hair, why they chose that spouse, etc. Who am I to judge them? I think about all of the times and I feel horrible. I know that my Father feels awful that I would think such things about his children...

My goal of judging less, loving more I hope will bring me closer to my Savior and bring peace to myself. Wealth, beauty, status, etc. won't bring eternal happiness. Competing with the world for those things will only bring misery, because we can't win. I want to live in this world, not be a part of it's craziness.

I am so grateful for all that we have, both temporally and spiritually. I have struggled quite a bit this past year with many things. It's been a very hard year for me, but now that my "fog" is lifting, I realize how much I have to be thankful for. I am blessed to be a stay at home mom. I am grateful to my husband for always wanting that for our family. I am blessed to have a husband that serves so many without a second thought, especially his family. I am so grateful, SO GRATEFUL, for our son. What a tremendous joy he is! Every day is such an experience with him. I laugh constantly at him in his endeavours to learn who he is. I love being his mom so much!

And so, this post was meant as a way for me to document my journey to judging less and loving more. Now that it's out there for the world to see, I HAVE to do it. :)