I copied these pictures from my cousins blog (Thanks Brookie!!!) so that my purse loving friends could view the most ridiculous building. Louis Vuitton store in Paris... I am NOT into purses (I have one LV purse that was a gift, otherwise I wouldn't own one)- I have way better things to spend my money on, but clearly there are those that are. I would think, though, that this would be quite the shopping experience!.jpg)
At first I thought it was cool, but wondered how often we would use it. I have to say that we have used it EVERY night since Christmas and LOVE it! Jeff is so cute and asks me every night if I want my bed warmed up for me. He turns on my side and his so that when we crawl into bed, we are warm and cozy. It has been such a great gift and I love it! The first night we turned it on I didn't realize our controls were swapped. I had turned mine on low and Jeff turned his on high. I woke up SO HOT! I was sweating and turned it off. The rest of the night I was so hot and was irritated that it stayed hot for so long after I turned it off. In the morning Jeff said he didn't think his side really worked that great. LOL - We totally had the wrong controls. As I am thinking about my life and all of the pieces that make up my life, I know that I am so blessed. I have been thinking about one of my best friends from middle school. We kept in touch off and on since 8th grade. I have always thought she had everything. She was beautiful, SKINNY :), smart, fun, funny, talented... you get the idea. When we got older, I thought she had the perfect life - husband, beautiful children, nice house.... again, you get the idea. But not too long ago, I learned of her personal trials. I cried for her. Cried because I felt guilty for being judgemental. I thought her life was perfect, she was perfect. I quickly learned that not only was her life not perfect, but in this moment, it is harder than I could have ever imagined for her. And yet, she still inspires me. She has a deep love for the Lord and faith that far outreaches mine sometimes.
We each have trials and struggles in life. And yet we all judge. We judge when we shouldn't because we rarely know the entire truth or story. We judge based on different reasons... Looks (be it beauty or not), talent, wealth (or lack of) - education, calling at church, job status, popularity, whatever... But what gives us the right? The problem is we don't have one.
I have been thinking about my personal goals for the year. Among the usual is a goal to judge less and love more. I remember this same friend telling me once, while we were sitting in the mall commenting on people, that if we make fun of someone, that something we made fun of will happen to us. I quickly started making fun of skinny people. Unfortunately I wasn't "punished" with that "misfortune". But as I think about the areas in my life that need improvement, judgement is at the top of the list. I have often sat with friends or even alone, and made judgements about people, even strangers walking by. Wondering why they wore what they wore, why they didn't comb their hair, why they chose that spouse, etc. Who am I to judge them? I think about all of the times and I feel horrible. I know that my Father feels awful that I would think such things about his children...
My goal of judging less, loving more I hope will bring me closer to my Savior and bring peace to myself. Wealth, beauty, status, etc. won't bring eternal happiness. Competing with the world for those things will only bring misery, because we can't win. I want to live in this world, not be a part of it's craziness.
I am so grateful for all that we have, both temporally and spiritually. I have struggled quite a bit this past year with many things. It's been a very hard year for me, but now that my "fog" is lifting, I realize how much I have to be thankful for. I am blessed to be a stay at home mom. I am grateful to my husband for always wanting that for our family. I am blessed to have a husband that serves so many without a second thought, especially his family. I am so grateful, SO GRATEFUL, for our son. What a tremendous joy he is! Every day is such an experience with him. I laugh constantly at him in his endeavours to learn who he is. I love being his mom so much!
And so, this post was meant as a way for me to document my journey to judging less and loving more. Now that it's out there for the world to see, I HAVE to do it. :)
A friend in Utah sent me this link to a cool food storage place. I love their site and this month, they have a ton of cool give aways... So sign up!
http://funwithfoodstorage.net/welcome-to-the-party
Today I was released as Young Women's President. They re-organized YW, YM and Primary. I expected myself to feel one way, but ended up feeling totally different than I thought. It's been over 4 years since I was called to serve in YW. The first three years were amazing, but this past year has been so hard on me. I started as second councilor to one of my favorite people, Chris Tanner. When she was released I was called as President. I've loved working with the young women. I was shocked, still am, that my Bishop called me, but I am so grateful for the experience. I have served many wonderful, beautiful and talented young girls. I love them all. I had a "feeling" that my time was coming to an end. Although I am grateful to be released, I am also sad that I won't get to see my youngest girls move through the stages. I have so many wonderful memories of these girls. Girls camp, youth conference, Wednesday night activities and yes, even the sleepovers at my house were wonderful. My oldest girls are all grown up, some married, in college and or about to get married. The others have grown just as quickly and I am sad I won't be there to see them grow up. I think back to so many laughs we had over silly things. I think the hardest we laughed, and still laugh at, is Kelly Batt, another leader, bringing her fart machine to camp and hiding it in her pants. We were all horrified that she would toot right in front of us! So many great times over the years!
I have had the privilege of having wonderful councilors that I have served with. Kristal Cantwell was the first I served with - she was the first councilor and I was the second. We went to camp together and had so much fun. She remained the first councilor when I was called. I love her so dearly and have loved getting to know her. Lexie Sautter was our second councilor. I loved having her in YW. She was always so willing to help and has a million talents. I wish our time together wasn't so short. Kim Cook and Lisa Poling were my councilors when I was released. Oh how I love them. Kim, a dear friend anyway, rode with me every week. She understood my concerns and frustrations. She made me laugh and even laughed at me even during the difficult moments. Lisa, whom I didn't know when I asked for her to be called, I loved immediately. She has so many Divine qualities. I knew she would have to be great because her husband is. I liked working with him while he served in the Bishopric. Lisa was always so ready to do whatever was asked, and even the things that weren't asked. She helped me on more than one occasion when I needed someone. I will always love her and am so grateful to know her. Besides the wonderful spiritual qualities, she likes my husbands hair band music. :) Who would have guessed???
Not working with these women and the other leaders will be the saddest for me. I love them and am so grateful to them.
A Picture that Jeff made for each girl. He Photoshopped them into the picture.
Youth Conference and Camp pictures.
I was tagged by Kim - thanks :) - I am supposed to display the sixth picture in the sixth album. It HORRIBLE!!!
This picture was taken by Kim (thanks again!) when we were at Turner Falls camping. It was SO hot and humid (which accounts for the frizzy hair) even though it was in October. I was about 4 months pregnant. I am wearing a youth conference shirt that I cut the neck in because I felt like I was choking... I wish it had been the 7 or 8th picture. They were much better!
I tag - Brittany, Brookie, Chanteal, Racheel, Angie, and Jana. Have Fun ladies!
Last year we drove with our friends the Cooks to Chickasha to view the Festival of lights. This year we went with Jeff's mom and brother. It wasn't as cold as last year so we were able to walk around quite a bit. I really enjoyed it. I loved playing with Ethan on the swing and slide. He had so much fun even though he was cold. He laughed and laughed on the swing!
Jeff has been wanting to get Jaycie a gumball machine for over a year. He finally ordered one and so we decided to get the kids some things for Christmas. We had dinner and then Jaycie especially could hardly wait to open her gifts. It was so cute to watch them.
So tired, ready for bed. But he was so excited to play with his toys with the "big kids".
Little Nathan with his gum. LOL!!! Too cute!
1.Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping paper!!!!
2. Real tree or Artificial? REAL of course! But we have an artificial because it's less mess.
3. When do you put up the tree? Weekend after Thanksgiving. Family Home Eve!
4. When do you take the tree down? New Years! We like to keep it up until the new year!
5. Do you like eggnog? Yep, some brands.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? Cabbage Patch Doll when I was 6
7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes
8. Easiest person to buy for? My mom! She's so fun to buy for! Ethan is SUPER easy and Jeff isn't too bad.
9. Hardest person to buy for? My dad. He has everything.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Good ole fashioned snail mail cards! Pictures are great!
11. Worst gift you ever got? They are all great!
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Any of the Lifetime Christmas movies. I used to watch Anne of Green Gables every year, but it's been a while. Who has 8 hours to watch movies???
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? October. I'm usually done by December.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas Gift? Not Christmas...
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? I love it all!!!!!
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear
17. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night, of course.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Yes, if I sing it...
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Angel.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One Christmas Eve (pajamas to wear Christmas Eve night and the rest in the morning.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The massive amount of people in any store! Driving!
23. What is your ornament style? Homemade. Little German ornaments we have.
24. What's your favorite for Christmas dinner? Turkey! But Ham is great too.
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? For everyone to be happy. For the less fortunate to have a place to go and something to open. To have Christmas be more about our Savior than Santa...
I tag whomever has the time to answer... Most likely that would be no one. :)
I found this Santa suit at Babies R Us and normally I'm not really into things like this, but I couldn't resist! It even has a beard!!! So cute! Ethan was not about to wear it but it was fun anyway. We made Christmas boxes again for some of our clients and Jeff took Ethan with him dressed as Santa. How fun! I am taking him to get his pictures with Santa today and he will wear it again. So cute!
He couldn't stop laughing at me.
So this year I decided to make my mom and dad books or Christmas with pictures of them together. My dad's looks a little different than moms, but I forgot to take pictures before I mailed it. I used scrabble letters to spell out Papa and Ethan on the cover. The whole book is of Ethan and Papa together. Moms is very similar. I had so much fun making them!
It's so funny to see Ethan TRY to go Poop. Babies just do it, but when they get a little older, they start focusing on it. It's so funny to see the look on his face when he's trying. So serious!
Ethan is such a good little boy. Most of the time he is content to play or even just sit and watch Elmo. (I know, I am a horrible mother that I let him watch TV) He loves playing with his blocks and has recently started to try to fit them in his mouth. If I let him sit on the floor, I often find that he as rolled all over the room, and of late under the Christmas tree!
I am so grateful for such an amazing little boy. He is so happy, always smiling or talking. We love you Ethan!!!
This is for Ethan, when he's older and has his own kids.
So Ethan was a great night sleeper from the get go. By two months he was sleeping through the night in his own room. I loved it. Even though I don't sleep well, it's great to be able to when I was actually able to sleep. He's always been a poopy nap sleeper, but great night sleeper.
Right before we went to Arizona, than got a cold. He was up most of the night and so I brought him to sleep with us. When we went to Arizona, he wouldn't sleep in the pack and play and since I didn't want to wake up my Dad or Karen, I just let him sleep with us. I do NOT like him sleeping with us. Jeff always says he likes it or doesn't mind, but I do mind. When we got back from Arizona, I went to Missouri, then we went back to Missouri for Thanksgiving. I would try to put him in his own bed when we were home, but he would cry and it made me sad so I always brought him back.
I decided that enough was enough. He wouldn't take naps unless I was holding him or would lay with him in our bed, he wouldn't go to sleep at night without me. That was it. I am worn out and not doing real great anyway. So I asked the Dr. and she said to let him cry it out.
Day 1:
Morning nap, I laid him down about 11:30. He screamed (of course). I did what I read, which was to go in after 5 minutes, console him for a minute without picking him up and then leave again, even if he was crying. Then give him 10 minutes, then 15 and so on. Each time, I think it made it worse when I walked out. It was horrible. So I quit going in. I tried to keep myself busy, which should have been easy, but it was AWFUL! I couldn't think, I was sad he was crying... the whole bit. My friend Kim came over for lunch. He was still crying. She said to let him cry, he would stop eventually and go to sleep. After 2 hours and 15 minutes I couldn't take it anymore. I ran in to get him. The second I opened his door, I regretted it. I looked at him and 1. he had NO tears and 2. the second he saw me, he had a big smile on his face. I KNEW he was smiling because he won.
Afternoon nap: He cried for about 35 minutes and fell asleep, but only slept for about 20 minutes.
Around 7 he fell asleep in my arms, for about an hour. I knew Jeff was going to be home late and we were going to go to dinner late, so I wasn't going to put him to bed right at 8. So I let him sleep.
Night time: We got home a little after 9. Ethan played with Dad for a little bit. I knew he was exhausted, but I wanted him that way. I fed him in his rocking chair, sang to him a little and put him in his bed. He cried for about 30 minutes and was totally out. He woke up about 5 times in the night, but always fell right back to sleep on his own. Once he cried longer than usual and instead of running in there, I turned the monitor off. He was asleep in about 3-4 minutes. He slept until 7 this morning. WOOT WOOT!
Day 2:
Morning nap is a little early. He is so tired, I think from getting up early and going to bed late. I nurse him in his rocker for a few minutes. But he's crabby. So I sing to him and then lay him in his bed. He screamed bloody murder for about 2 minutes and then just cried for about 45 minutes. He's asleep now. Yeah. Oh wait. He only slept 15 minutes...
After nap: He cried for about an hour and 15 minutes. He woke up after about 15, but I KNEW he was still so tired. He cried for about 20 more and then fell asleep again. He slept about an hour.
He's improving!
Night time: This was the hardest so far, not because of him, but me... I wanted to hold him and snuggle with him for a while... I fed him, sang to him, rocked him until he was pretty sleepy. I laid him in his bed. He freaked of course, but he started freaking before I even made near his bed. He knew what was coming. He cried for less than 15 minutes, and it wasn't even crying. It was more of a moany groany yell... But it wasn't loud, more irritated than anything. He slept till 8am, only waking up once! Yeah! It's getting better!
Day 3
Morning nap - on the road in the car seat. Piece of cake. :)
Afternoon nap - he cried about 5 minutes, but only slept 30. He did this twice
Bedtime - Ahhhh... He cried not even two minutes and was out.
It's hard, so hard to hear him cry. But the older he gets, the harder it will be to break. I refuse to let him sleep with me until he goes to school. That is MY bed. I like my space at night, i like to flip around and so forth. So I am determined to help him RE-learn to sleep on his own.
So it's now day 5. The nights are beautiful. He sleeps from 8-8. Cried tonight for one little wimper and rolled over and went to sleep. The naps are still a pain, but getting better too. I'm not fighting those as I am so grateful for the 12 hours at night!
As mentioned in my last post, we went to the OU Children's hospital for Ethan's ultrasound. The stupid ultrasound tech guy told us he looked great, but even as we sat there - I wondered. He spent a lot of time on Ethan's one side. But when he said it all looked good, then I didn't worry as much. We had an appt to get Ethan's second flu shot today so I reminded the nurse to try to get the results.
Dr. Adair called about 6 and said that Ethan has hydronephrosis. She said it had progressed since his last ultrasound. They told us when they first found it that it wa
s just physiological and would be fine. Today, she said that on one hand his kidneys were growing and normal in size but she had a contradicting report that said they were too small... She said the hydronephrosis was a level 1, which means not severe. But we have to see a urologist to see what he thinks.
I am sure that everything will probably be just fine, but I am so scared...I just want my little boy to be healthy and happy.
Update.... Our appointment is not until February. When I freaked a little about waiting so long, I was told the Dr. reviewed his reports and scans and they felt it was OK to wait that long, that he was in danger... So that is a HUGE relief!
Today was a super busy day for us. We woke up early and started the outside lights. I had to make pies and green bean casserole for the ward party. So I ran to the store, started the pies and started the outside lights. Ethan had a Dr. appt at noon. We had to go ALL the way down to OU Children's hospital. He had a renal ultrasound scheduled. We had to be there a half hour early. All so we could wait for 45 minutes on top of our 30 minutes. She told us it was for paperwork, but the only paperwork we had to "fill out" was one signature. Retarded. The actual ultrasound was only 10 minutes. LOL - what is that about????
After Cirque we went to our ward Christmas party. We had a great dinner and we were able to hang out for a little bit. Santa didn't come, which was so disappointing. We didn't want to have to go to the mall for pictures, but I'm glad we went anyway. I can never get enough turkey dinner! Ethan was exhausted and couldn't stand being awake anymore so we left about 8:30. He was asleep in about 20 seconds once I laid him down. Poor guy was pooped! But we had such a great day together as a family. Days like today make all of the other days tolerable.
